another moral hangover. fuck.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Who died my cat blue again?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
