did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize