The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
