and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
