I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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