Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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