Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize