i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
