As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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