Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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