my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize