I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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