the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
