i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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