We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
