I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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