literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
