I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
