its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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