Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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