Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
