You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
