What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
