I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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