we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
