He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
