I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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