So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize