And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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