So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
