Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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