just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you would pick up someone in the library
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
