i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
