I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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