Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
