He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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