how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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