they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
