And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
