I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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