Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
ttyl tear gas
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
