Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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