i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
