I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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