Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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