if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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