He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize