I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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