wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
