Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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