i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
