My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
