just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
