Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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