who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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