just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
