I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
