u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
