no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize