she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
