how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize