Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
